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date/time Thursday, May 31, 2012,12:26 AM
My cry baby.
No kidding. It's been a year already !? My cry baby sister is turning 19 today!? Why so fast!
I was chatting with her on WhatsApp the other day and it hit me hard how much she have grown and mature. I don't know why she grow so fast cause she's supposed to be the biggest cry baby (uh... on second thought, maybe not - pun intended) in the family and and... she's supposed to be the one running / hiding my back when we are out meeting strangers and the one who tries her best to escape from me when we are at home! :'( Childhood memories crushed after she lectured me like Grandmother Qin that afternoon.
Then again, she's still ever so protected by Mama. You must not take the cab alone, you must not go out late, you must not take the LRT alone, it's okay if you don't remember the roads - call your sisters (my fav) !
Mama texted me on my birthday - 'study first, birthday every year also got, you can go out next year.' (One of her favourite annual birthday wishes since I was 7) But they are bringing ze baby sis (pun intended x2) out for dinner even though she has AS exams next week! (WHAT?! -_-)
Today is also the official last day of Bar School. Although I will definitely miss my days in City, I want to pass everything at first go please please. So much things running in my head now but as of now, I need to go tidy up my opinions first. It's gonna be a long, long night.
Happy Birthday Qin! I hope you'll stay stupid forever and be protected from all the unkind shits and hurdles that I've been through at your age (and to come). =D
One of my favourite paintings from Kuan. Too bad it's never gonna be mine. Pfft.
xx
h!
xx
Labels: me's daily update, me's family
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date/time Wednesday, May 30, 2012,12:43 AM
Habit.
The older you are, the harder your old habit dies.
For example, I always forget where I put my things when I was 5 (my first memory of being forgetful), now this habit is still haunting me every where I go.
For that, I'm paying the consequences by not having my own bedroom and laptop to finish up my work. Damn!
Why don't we ever learn our lessons?! The amount of determination and motivation needed for one to change is beyond imaginary. Then again , if you wanna do it , you will do it.
Bah!
xx Labels: me's daily update
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date/time Monday, May 28, 2012,10:36 PM
Stuck.
I am so behind time. -_____- I should be proof reading at this time, but I am still writing. The Yellow Pages of Swear Words is not enough for me to use this time. Also, there's an annoying bug that's been bugging me the entire evening. Testing my level of patience ! I'm trying to get it to leave me alone but it just wouldn't! Even bugs can persevere longer than I can. Just turn me into a bug now please! =S Kthxbye!!!! BLAH!
Proverbs 12:19, "The lip of truth shall be established for ever: but a lying tongue is but for a moment."
xx
Labels: journey with Him, me's daily update, me's rants
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date/time Sunday, May 27, 2012,8:50 PM
Faith.
Currently listening to :
Have I ever mentioned here that I really do love Jayesslee!?
Never in my life thought I would actually attend church every Sunday, but now I do.
I do it because I love it. I love going to church, I love the positive energy in church, I love how I step out from church feeling refreshed every Sunday. It's not something that I've been doing a lot, in fact I just started going early May.
To be honest, I probably have only 2% of knowledge on what Christianity is, but I am learning.
I remembered I wrote in April that April gave a lot of shit to my friends. Sad things happened, a lot of mistakes were made. I secretly hope that May wouldn't be harsh on me because when I was in college, Ms. T used to tell me that it's okay not to be okay because there will be a month that she'll be in shit and there will be another where I will be. Obviously I was hoping for the best then, but I guess what's to come, will come.
There are things that I cannot change, the past that cannot be rectified, things that I have done and said, misunderstandings that I do not know how to deal with, knots and ties that have gone too deep for me to untie everything. I revert to praying. I pray and have faith in the Lord that things will be okay. Have faith in Him that if I try my best to do what I can, He will do what I cannot do. This has been my pillar of strength for the entire month. Somehow I know I can only do what I can, and leave the rest to Him.
I believe He has plans for me. I believe He has laid paths for me. I believe they are not meant to be smooth because it is when I fall, I learn. I thought I could have done better than this, I thought I had the strength and the wisdom to untie all knots, I thought I could foresee things. In fact, I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't to the extent that I can only watch things falling apart.
Yes I am angry. I thought I tried, but I didn't try my best. I didn't control my emotions. I wasn't strong enough. I tried all I can to save up all the broken pieces, but I ended up hurting more people. That is perhaps one of the most stupid things I could have done. To think that I had the strength to do things I couldn't do.
My only comfort is, things will all be okay one day. This is but another challenge that I have to face in London. It's not the first, definitely not the last. If this is the hardest hurdle that I have to cross, I will be thankful. Really thankful, because after all, every thing will come to an end one day anyway. Might take years, but it'll end regardless.
Until then, I will continue to pray and have faith. Trust and faith need to be earned and appreciated. No one said they are easy to come by. Just maybe, we need to hang in here a little longer. Just a little longer before things unfold. I can do that. For all the blessings that God has blessed me with, I can wait a little longer and hang in here to see what His plans really are.
Someone told me it is during the hardest times when people decided to walk away from God, thinking how and why would He create such hurdles for us if He really love us. But no, I don't think He would ever turn away from us just because He made our lives difficult. I think the hurdles are there because of the options that I have made in the past, and for every decision made, there is a consequence to bear with, good or bad. If it is good, I thank Him for guiding me to making the right decision. If it is bad, I thank Him for making me learn, that there's a price to pay and at times, strength and wisdom come from experiences. More often than not, the most horrible nightmares give the most lessons.
It's always the darkest before dawn, isn't it? =) I'm sure I can do this. This might after all, turn out to be the best blessing in disguise!
Have a very blessed week ahead every one! If you are having a bad day too, perhaps you can deposit some Faith in God! I'm sure He has time for all of us. =)
Now, 10,000-word opinions, let's see how fast I can write before Thursday, 6pm. O_o
ps: not sure if I'm liking the new blogger layout or hating it. =/
x
Labels: journey with Him, me's daily update
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date/time Monday, May 21, 2012,5:05 PM
Pen n papers.
Currently stranded in a local Starbucks alone because I left my keys in my room. Nothing too uncommon.
Sitting here trying to read some stuff but I saw this little boy sharing a strawberries n cream with his sister. So cute I am gonna melt ! Wish I can snap a pic of theirs!
Been up early getting things done today. Very worn out and missing my double bed badly now. At times like these I really want to just hang the keys on my neck 24/7!
Such is my kind of life. Blah!
Labels: me's daily update
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date/time 1:23 PM
22
I don't think I have ever imagined that I would be in London celebrating my 22nd birthday back when I was 11.
I certainly wouldn't have thought our friendships would prevail after all the craps we gave each other too hah! But it sure as hell did. :)
I am forever in debt with all the kind people whom I have met all my life. Good things do happen. Big or small. It takes time, a lot of patience and appreciation to happen though. Hoping to regain some positive energy so I can help to spread some positive vibe around. Overcoming struggles have never been an easy task, have it?
Either ways, thank you Lord! For I am a very, very blessed girl. And I know it will only get better and better each day! :)
Now, moving on to the last four hurdles in front. Bar school, who would have thought a challenging 9 months would end so soon? Then again, I wouldn't want to redo the entire thing again. It's been a physically and emotionally challenging year. By far, the worst educational year that I have been through, but also the only year that I have 100% attendance on every single lecture and tutorial. O.o
Till then. Labels: me's birthday
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date/time Tuesday, April 17, 2012,10:49 PM
Part time job
I am exceptionally loving my part-time job. So much more than my full time's! =D
So need to dye my roots. Model 4
Model 2
Models 1 and 3
So happy I feel the urge to learn more about sculpting faces, with brushes! =D
xx Labels: me's daily update
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The B Queen ♥
The Queen of ♥
Anywhere you are, I'll be near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of a person would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most?
Use words and promises wisely, because they stay even when we are gone.
Chris Medina, What Are Words.♥
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